1. True. Pauley Shore wasn't really my inspiration but I took the survey the yearbook committee put out as a joke. Everyone else didn't and put God, family, and friends. In retrospect, it looks pretty idiotic.
My high school sweetheart and I were voted "Most likely to get married". Although she is an exceptional person, it didn't work out.
2. True. I have done stand-up comedy. It was at an all-black comedy club in Laurel, MD called "Jokes on Us". I was the only white person to perform that night which was quite daunting. I was extremely nervous and didn't know what the reaction would be. It went over pretty well. Got a few laughs and a nice ovation at the end of my five minute set.
At my job at Blockbuster a few weeks later, I was recognized by a couple that went to the show. They said they enjoyed my set and asked if I had any new material. I told them that I probably would be fired if I told the type of jokes they saw at the show.
3. True. Call it my nature but I couldn't decide what to do with my Bachelors. I chose on the three courses listed below and let fate decide. I figured whatever way I went, I would get a job. I know it's cavalier but that's how I was at 20.
4. False. Although I am a huge fan of the Beatles, Nirvana, and Radiohead, I don't have the money to collect any of that cool memorabilia. I do, however, own a scary sketch of Kurt Cobain that I am trying to convince my girlfriend to let me hang up.
5. True. I was a new writer and I really wanted to impress the editors. I didn't know that would lead to me taping someone peeing. After the game, the other team needed to get going. Since I was taught to get both sides of the story with quotes, I felt it was necessary to get the quote no matter how far I needed to go. It made for an interesting discussion back at the office and it led to me becoming Sports editor for a semester in my Senior year.
Thanks to those who guessed or at least read the article...